To Aaron

To my baby Aaron,

I want to tell you it wasn't supposed to be this way. I guess the hard truth is the fact it was supposed to be this way. Because of sin we have death and sorrow in the world. For you, my son, it is the best outcome. You didn't have to grow up in a world of sin. You didn't have to experience sadness or death. You get to be rejoicing with our God. We are the ones who have to experience sorrows and pain of this life. I am grateful that you don't. I think any parents wants the best for their child and would take the pain and suffering so they don't have to. And I will gladly take that for you.

We didn't expect that our tears would be tears of sadness on the day we met you. I thought there would be tears of joy. We also didn't think that you would come 11 weeks early, but you did.

I am so thankful for the doctors and nurses who helped bring you into this world. We will always remember what  they did for us. I am thankful for your dad who drove as quickly as he could to get us to the hospital. I am thankful for the support  we have to help get us through the loss of you.

Words cannot express how much I miss you. Or how much I love you. They can't show the pain we have from you not being here. We have learned that grief is like an ocean and we still don't know when to expect the waves that knock us over. We are getting a better idea though. Today is one of those days.

When I got a positive test back in March, I had a different picture to how today would look. I thought we would be holding you and showing you off to to everyone we know. Instead we drove to where you are resting.

I always thought you would be the best birthday gift. And you still are. I am your mom and I am proud of that. I still wish (and always will) that I could hold you right now.

Not a day has gone by that I don't think of you every second. It is true that where your treasure is your heart will be also. Mine is with you. You are my treasure. You are perfect. You will always be my baby.

I love you.